“Nothing delights me more than to hear that my children are walking in this path.” (3 Jn. 4)
Parenting is a decision that can bring boundless
joy if parents accept the great responsibility of what God’s gift is calling them
to do by caring for a person for their entire lives in either blood or adoptive
relationships. The difficulty lies in how a parent defines what that means to
her or him.
We read, hear or see stories about parents who have developed great relationships with their children in all kinds of ways that help foster a continuation of the species despite all the challenges. Likewise, there are many stories about neglectful parents who have placed child rearing as a low priority of things to do to endanger their children who have lost their lives accidentally or on purpose.
From my perspective as an adopted male raised in a single household, I did not fully understand or embrace the symbiotic relationship my wife has with bearing our four children. Because of that, I was not as present as I should have been. My regret is that I missed having a closer relationship with them in their early childhood development.
What I have developed over the years, I believe, is a presence of support to help them make better decisions not only in their own lives but as parents or grandparents. Though it may not have always worked in the way I believed it should, it gave them an awareness that helped toward a better ending.
“My brothers, count it pure joy when you are involved in every sort of trial. Realize that when your faith is tested this makes for endurance. Let endurance come to its perfection so that you may be fully mature and lacking in nothing.” (Jas. 1:2-4)
There are moments when I reflect on the importance of parents being present for their adult children, especially during critical medical situations. Every parent I have met hopes their child outlives them, regardless of the child’s age.
It can be incredibly challenging to decide whether to say goodbye in person or to preserve the memory of the child before passing. There is no right or wrong choice, and sometimes, there is no clear resolution. However, it does raise an important question from the child’s perspective: How would I feel if my parent(s) had the opportunity to be there and chose not to come?
“A glad heart lights up the face, but by
mental anguish the spirit is broken.” (Proverbs 15:13)
As I wrote earlier, parents define the type of
relationship they want with their child. It is a challenge and often difficult
at best. Yet, we need to constantly remind ourselves that children are a gift
from God. He does this out of love not to burden us with a miserable life. In
addition, we learn from them how much joy a family can have if we all together
share God’s love from various perspectives.
“Rejoice in the Lord always! I say it
again. Rejoice!” (Philippians
4:4)
Take this week to do something out of the ordinary with your child, grandchild or great grandchild. It could be something simple or big. Whatever it is, do it with joy that brings a smile to each of you and looks forward to a time in the future to celebrate your gift of relationship.
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